Point out the elephant in the room

You ever get into a conversation with a client or colleague and they don't seem to either understand what you're saying or you they just pretend they agree with you?

"That sounds right...let me think about it."

Yea, that means they're not totally bought into what you're saying.

In those cases, you should borrow a technique from the book Never Split The Difference called "Labeling."

"Labeling is a way of validating someone’s emotion by acknowledging it. Give someone’s emotion a name and you show you identify with how that person feels. It gets you close to someone without asking about external factors you know nothing about (“How’s your family?”). Think of labeling as a shortcut to intimacy, a time-saving emotional hack."

Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As if Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss

It's like pointing out the elephant in the room.

Here are a few phrases you an use:

• "It sounds like you think this idea won't work."
• "I'm getting the sense you're not a fan of this approach."
• "It feels like you're frustrated with the progress so far."

Then the client will usually respond "oh it's not this, it's ..."

And then you have valuable information and can move forward.

I don't enjoy confrontation or uncomfortable conversations, but I have found this technique is actually more comfortable than that awkward feeling of having something unsaid hang in the air.

Want the full playbook? Check out Going 1099.