Negotiation tip: Ask calibrated questions
I'm a big fan of Chris Voss' book, Never Split the Difference.
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Dependend On It
Voss was a FBI hostage negotiator and explains that successful negotiations aren't about banging your table on the fist and slipping a piece of paper with a number on it to your counterparty.
90% of it is uncovering your counterparty's true motivations and incentives, and then using that to reach an agreement (in your favor).
One of the ways to do that is to ask "calibrated questions." Calibrated questions are designed to elicit information from your counterparty while ALSO easing their defenses.
They are open-ended, reporter type questions: who, what, when, where why, and how. Voss recommends starting with what and how. Why can be agressive and the others are more factually oriented.
Here are some examples fromt he book:
- What about this is important to you?
- How can I help to make this better for us?
- How would you like me to proceed?
- What is it that brought us into this situation?
- How can we solve this problem?
- What's the objective? / What are we tryin to accomplish here?
- How am I supposed to do that?
"The implication of any well-designed calibration question is that you want what the other guy wants but you need his intelligence to overcome the problem. This really appeals to verry aggressive or egotistical counterparts."
Try these out with a client or program manager. See what you can learn.
Want the full playbook? Check out Going 1099.